I Just Wanna Be Mad for Awhile

I'm going to take a brief moment and quit putting on my happy face.  In the words of Terri Clark, "I'm just gonna be mad for awhile."

This afternoon I had a phone call that answered a lot of things for me, but sometimes you just don't want to hear what you really need to.  I am happy to have answers, but that doesn't mean I have to like them.  In another conversation today I expressed how things probably aren't going to turn out the way I want them to this year (although, that doesn't mean next year can't be different).  After all of this I was so ready to go spend time with my friend at the pool, so I hopped in my car, and two minutes later I realize my ass is about to get hit by a huge freaking van pulling something behind it.  I hate those, "Ohhh Shit!" moments.  I swerved, honked my horn, saw a telephone pole, and braced for impact, which is probably why I'm already feeling so dang sore.  From my past experience, these next two or three days are going to hurt.  My first reaction wasn't anger, but concern for their safety, then mine.  This was shortly followed by a complete moment of adrenaline, only to be followed up by sheer boredom and annoyance for the heat outside.  My annoyance from the heat then turned to annoyance of the fact that, "ughh I know have to deal with insurance, estimates, drawing out a stupid little diagram of my car getting smashed; great, now I have to take my car in to get fixed, and it's probably worth next to nothing and is totaled."  I probably wouldn't have been so annoyed, but I've spent the past several days jumping through hoops and waiting on hold with health and pharmaceutical insurance companies, among other people, trying to get a prescription filled.  I HATE dealing with this stuff.  In my opinion, this is one of the worst things about having to grow up - dealing with the boring aspects of your problems.

I'm more than glad for my safety, and despite things not going as planned in my life, I know that I have so much to be thankful for.  This past month or so has made me such a strong person, but that doesn't mean I haven't taken a bunch of bruises, both literally and figuratively.  So for now, I'm just going to take a couple of hours and feel quite honestly sorry for myself, drink a few of the beers my cousin so kindly left in the fridge, and hope and pray tomorrow brings better things.