In thinking about what I wanted to write, I realized many of my blogs are "reflective," but I've convinced myself that's okay after my years in college where we were told that being a reflective teacher makes a better teacher. With this being the case, I'm assuming that being a reflective person must have some benefits. It's also nice to keep everyone back home updated with what I'm doing all in one spot rather than spending an hour on the phone with various different people. So, going along with the whole teacher idea, a year ago I was waiting to hear back on a job I flew out to Fayetteville to have. I settled on that area partially because my cousin was living there at the time. About this time last year I was beginning to lose hope that I would get the job I spent all of my graduation money flying out to NC to interview for (yep, my English friends I AM leaving a hanging preposition here - deal with it!) When I finally found out I didn't get the job, I was beside myself. I put all my eggs in one basket so to speak. I was out of a job, messed up my knee resulting in my needing surgery, I got into a car accident with carnies from the Decatur Celebration, and basically everything I had envisioned for myself, wasn't happening. After my pity party, which lasted too long in all honesty, I began substitute teaching as soon as I could drive after my knee surgery. I then got a job long term subbing at my old high school and fell in love with it. In the mean time, I began pursuing a job at a funeral home that I was told about. I was offered the job, and I was awaiting training. Throughout this time though, I couldn't ditch my desire to move to North Carolina, or at least the South. I ended up applying to every county in NC, and the rest is history.
Although I didn't end up where I originally intended, I'm so happy with where I am. I have made so many wonderful friends, and the thought of our paths never crossing now seems absurd. I have learned so many things, and I can't wait to get back to school and attempt to fix all of the things I did wrong or could have done better (see, this is that whole teacher reflection I was talking about!) I, without a doubt, picked the right career. Although I had plenty of rough days that made me want to cry (well, some days behind closed doors at the end of the day, I would allow myself a minute to do just this), I had so many days that left me laughing until my cheeks hurt and stories to share with anyone who would listen. I'm not sure that I will ever meet a time where I think I'm a great teacher - I think I will always find things to fix and improve on. That's sometimes hard knowing that I will never achieve a level of "mastery" according to my standards, but we expect our students to continue to grow and do better, and it would be ridiculous to exempt myself from such standards.
After this crazy and exhausting semester of teaching, I was certainly ready for my summer vacation. This summer has been hands down the best summer of my life. My love for the beach is indescribable, and having it so close and so much free time has allowed me to soak up every ounce of sun, grain of sand, and every drop of salty water that splashes on my face. I've had so many amazing nights that I'll never remember with people that I will never forget. I know that I will look back on this summer as probably one of the best of my life. As hard as I try to explain my feelings about my summer so far, it's about near impossible, which for me being someone who lives for words and writing, says a lot. My only regrets may be that there aren't many pictures, but I did my best to enjoy the moment instead of wasting precious time trying to capture proof of it. I've become more carefree than I ever knew I was capable of, and I firmly believe I needed this good dose of lightening up!
Today in looking towards what the future holds, I realized my summer is almost over, which is okay. All good things must end, and well, all good things in moderation, so I think it's time to start acting like a grown up again...for the most part that is. I just moved into a home with a friend and her husband, which was a last minute thing, but was an answer to my prayers. As I'm still trying to unpack and get settled in, cheerleading is getting into full swing. First of all, I was never a cheerleader, and I know nothing about coaching. Yes, I danced growing up and was on the dance team in high school, but cheerleading is so very different. I'm learning and trying to absorb as much as I can. Since I'm an assistant varsity coach, it's fortunately not all on my shoulders, but I still have a lot I need to learn, and quick! I'm eager to embrace the whole "cheerleading thing," which I'm still trying to figure out, but I think that I can do it. As soon as I get settled into cheerleading, school will be starting and the football games will begin!
In all of this time I have also learned to be on my own and be independent. As spoiled rotten as this sounds, I am finally financially independent from my parents after twenty-four years. I've learned how to install a washing machine and dryer (after flooding the laundry room of course), I bought my own drill, which is a scary thought, I have learned to grill, to mow a lawn, I've taken apart and reassembled a lawn mower about ten times, I've bought a new one and put it all together (despite a near finger-loss accident), I can kill wasps and other scary bugs, I can fix a drain, and I've learned to be okay going out to dinner all by myself. It's funny because up until now, I have always relied on guys to deal with these things or fix my problems, but doing them on my own always makes me so excited. I never imagined I would do half of these things, among many others, but I have learned that I can do just about anything if I give myself the chance and the time to figure it out.
Twelve months ago I thought my world crumbled, and yes, I know that sounds dramatic, but I'm a girl and that happens sometimes. I now live in a place that I love, I have amazing friends, I've learned so many new things, and I've become truly independent for the first time in my life. It's amazing how we think we know what's best for us, but we later find out that so much more was in store for us. Can't wait to see what's going to happen next!
