Letting It Go

As a teacher, many days you wake up thinking you’re going to change the world, and other days, well, you just try to survive.  It’s so easy to let one thing ruin your day.  As kids come and go throughout the day, they fail to realize that your day has unfortunately been impacted prior to them seeing you.  They don’t realize that you ran out of hot water in the shower, spilled coffee all over yourself in the morning, have a sore back from the way you slept, already were reprimanded for something random, have 20+ emails to attend to, extra-curriculars to manage, home-bound students that we must write out extremely detailed lessons for, and all of the other daily work and students that we face. 

I always remember showing up to classes that I usually enjoyed, only to find out that the teacher was in a bad mood.  As far as we were concerned, these teachers had no need to be in a bad mood, and honestly, we hadn’t done anything, so why is the teacher less than friendly to us today?

When my kids come in, my face is often very readable.  If they ask me if I’m having a bad day, I tell them the truth, and if they ask why, I do my best to explain to them without giving them details on the matter.  It’s only fair to them to know what to expect from their teachers so that they can adjust their attitudes accordingly.  While it’s not fair that we let our moods impact our teaching, it is an inevitable situation.    You do your best to put your happy face on, you calmly remind students to get back on track, and think twice before you say anything, but after about the 20^th time you repeat the same thing over and over, you’re sure to lose your cool temperament.  It’s hard.  My daily struggle is keeping my cool, not taking out my feelings or emotions on students (even though they are to partially blame some days).  They are with us (or in my case) for ninety minutes every day.  Yes, high school students will always try to get a rise out of you, but they honestly don’t want to ruin your day – they simply fail to realize how much they impact your day.  Regardless of this fact, they still have an uncanny ability to do so.  Unfortunately, not only do we feed off of their moods, but they feed off of ours as teachers.

I have learned the more that I get upset – not even necessarily with them – the more frustrated and agitated they become with the teacher.  Every day is a constant battle – I don’t want to let their moods rub off on me, just as I don’t want to my mood rub off on them.  On my way home today as I was driving, I couldn’t help but tell myself, “The day is over.  Let it go.  Breathe.  Quit being upset.  Tomorrow is a new day.  Today is over.  Let it go.”  These moments with myself are the most crucial, yet difficult part of my day.  As a teacher I think the best thing to do is separate your own life from your school life.  Without a doubt every teacher will take home the emotional baggage of the day, but it’s important to leave as much behind as you can.  It is the nature of teachers to care, empathize, and problem-solve, but to maintain sanity, it is imperative to recollect and decompress.  Although I’ve not been teaching for long, it is easy to understand why the burn-out rate of teachers is so high.  It’s a stressful job and the inability to let things go will suffocate you quicker than one can realize.  Whether or not you teach, I think this lesson is true in life – you need to take each day as it comes, learn from it, and let it go, or else risk losing your sanity.  It sounds like the easiest thing to do, but the more I focus on it, the more I only realize just how difficult it is and how much practice that it takes.

Usually I Have A Clever Title For These Things, But I'm Too Tired For Creativity....

In thinking about what I wanted to write, I realized many of my blogs are "reflective," but I've convinced myself that's okay after my years in college where we were told that being a reflective teacher makes a better teacher.  With this being the case, I'm assuming that being a reflective person must have some benefits.  It's also nice to keep everyone back home updated with what I'm doing all in one spot rather than spending an hour on the phone with various different people.  So, going along with the whole teacher idea, a year ago I was waiting to hear back on a job I flew out to Fayetteville to have.  I settled on that area partially because my cousin was living there at the time.  About this time last year I was beginning to lose hope that I would get the job I spent all of my graduation money flying out to NC to interview for (yep, my English friends I AM leaving a hanging preposition here - deal with it!)  When I finally found out I didn't get the job, I was beside myself.  I put all my eggs in one basket so to speak.  I was out of a job, messed up my knee resulting in my needing surgery, I got into a car accident with carnies from the Decatur Celebration, and basically everything I had envisioned for myself, wasn't happening.  After my pity party, which lasted too long in all honesty, I began substitute teaching as soon as I could drive after my knee surgery.  I then got a job long term subbing at my old high school and fell in love with it.  In the mean time, I began pursuing a job at a funeral home that I was told about.  I was offered the job, and I was awaiting training.  Throughout this time though, I couldn't ditch my desire to move to North Carolina, or at least the South.  I ended up applying to every county in NC, and the rest is history. 

 Although I didn't end up where I originally intended, I'm so happy with where I am.  I have made so many wonderful friends, and the thought of our paths never crossing now seems absurd.  I have learned so many things, and I can't wait to get back to school and attempt to fix all of the things I did wrong or could have done better (see, this is that whole teacher reflection I was talking about!)  I, without a doubt, picked the right career.  Although I had plenty of rough days that made me want to cry (well, some days behind closed doors at the end of the day, I would allow myself a minute to do just this), I had so many days that left me laughing until my cheeks hurt and stories to share with anyone who would listen.  I'm not sure that I will ever meet a time where I think I'm a great teacher - I think I will always find things to fix and improve on.  That's sometimes hard knowing that I will never achieve a level of "mastery" according to my standards, but we expect our students to continue to grow and do better, and it would be ridiculous to exempt myself from such standards.  

After this crazy and exhausting semester of teaching, I was certainly ready for my summer vacation.  This summer has been hands down the best summer of my life.  My love for the beach is indescribable, and having it so close and so much free time has allowed me to soak up every ounce of sun, grain of sand, and every drop of salty water that splashes on my face.  I've had so many amazing nights that I'll never remember with people that I will never forget.  I know that I will look back on this summer as probably one of the best of my life.  As hard as I try to explain my feelings about my summer so far, it's about near impossible, which for me being someone who lives for words and writing, says a lot.  My only regrets may be that there aren't many pictures, but I did my best to enjoy the moment instead of wasting precious time trying to capture proof of it.  I've become more carefree than I ever knew I was capable of, and I firmly believe I needed this good dose of lightening up!

Today in looking towards what the future holds, I realized my summer is almost over, which is okay.  All good things must end, and well, all good things in moderation, so I think it's time to start acting like a grown up again...for the most part that is.  I just moved into a home with a friend and her husband, which was a last minute thing, but was an answer to my prayers.  As I'm still trying to unpack and get settled in, cheerleading is getting into full swing.  First of all, I was never a cheerleader, and I know nothing about coaching.  Yes, I danced growing up and was on the dance team in high school, but cheerleading is so very different.  I'm learning and trying to absorb as much as I can.  Since I'm an assistant varsity coach, it's fortunately not all on my shoulders, but I still have a lot I need to learn, and quick!  I'm eager to embrace the whole "cheerleading thing," which I'm still trying to figure out, but I think that I can do it.  As soon as I get settled into cheerleading, school will be starting and the football games will begin!

In all of this time I have also learned to be on my own and be independent.  As spoiled rotten as this sounds, I am finally financially independent from my parents after twenty-four years.  I've learned how to install a washing machine and dryer (after flooding the laundry room of course), I bought my own drill, which is a scary thought, I have learned to grill, to mow a lawn, I've taken apart and reassembled a lawn mower about ten times, I've bought a new one and put it all together (despite a near finger-loss accident), I can kill wasps and other scary bugs, I can fix a drain, and I've learned to be okay going out to dinner all by myself.   It's funny because up until now, I have always relied on guys to deal with these things or fix my problems, but doing them on my own always makes me so excited.  I never imagined I would do half of these things, among many others, but I have learned that I can do just about anything if I give myself the chance and the time to figure it out.

Twelve months ago I thought my world crumbled, and yes, I know that sounds dramatic, but I'm a girl and that happens sometimes.  I now live in a place that I love, I have amazing friends, I've learned so many new things, and I've become truly independent for the first time in my life.  It's amazing how we think we know what's best for us, but we later find out that so much more was in store for us.  Can't wait to see what's going to happen next!

20 Things I Learned During my 1st Year of Teaching

As I’m sitting here on my first day of summer break drinking my coffee, I figured it would be fun to look back on this first semester of my teaching.  Looking back on it all, there are so many valuable lessons that I learned, things that I would change, and perspectives that I have gained. Here’s a list of some of the things I learned:

1)      On the first day, be MEAN.  Everyone told me this, and I thought I was, but I was wrong.  Nowhere in any teaching manual, college course, or seminar do people tell you to be MEAN on the first day, but veteran teachers will.  You think you’re going to walk in and have a happy little family for three months, but especially being a young teacher, the kids seem to think that you are one of them, and that they can get away with anything.  So next semester, I will act as a mean, evil teacher on the first day, and maybe, just maybe, scare some kids.

2)      Hand sanitizer, rubber bands, paperclips, and staplers don’t belong on my desk, but rather in my desk.  I’ve had my high school students and their desks drenched in hand sanitizer.  I’ve seen a student staple his own arm on purpose; staplers are also like a weapon they like to use against one another.  I also know firsthand that rubber bands are the worst thing to ever allow students access to – I have been snapped, they go shooting across the room, and who knows what else.  I have also found my paperclips all hooked together.  OH, and I’ve had my scotch tape stretched clear across the room.

3)      Along with classroom supplies, when running out of Kleenex, the kids will usually steal a roll of toilette paper from the bathroom to blow their runny little noses with.  However, some kid always decides to try and TP the classroom…

4)      Watch your keys or they will end up in the ceiling.

5)      Hide your dry erase markers…hide them well!

6)      Turtle-ing someone’s book bag?  What’s that you ask?  Well, I got to learn firsthand.  They turn a kid’s book bag inside out, put everything back in it, zip it up (so that the zipper pulley things are on the inside, and my students managed to secure it with some form of wire).  Needless to say, I had to get a hold of wire cutters to free a student’s belongings from this turtled bag!

7)      If your directions are not clear as glass, they will purposefully try to misinterpret them. 

8)      Students will say the nicest things and make your day, and they will also say the most hateful things that you secretly take home at night.

9)      Every class wants to be your favorite class.  They are like children – each class has a different personality, with both redeeming and damning traits.  It’s important to look for those redeeming traits in every class.

10)   Your students will make you feel old and unpopular in no time at all.  I had to discover the meanings to “twerking,” “turn up,” and all of the proper ways to talk about twitter. 

11)   Along with this, students think that teachers have no lives, no friends, no dance skills, nothing.  I mentioned cooking dinner, and they accused me of not being able to cook – how would they know?  It’s so funny, but looking back we felt the same way about our teachers.

12)   Bribery works- especially at the end of the year.  Jolly Ranchers are glorious.  The best part is when they bite down on them, getting their teeth stuck closed for a glorious 30 seconds of silence, and as soon as they free their jaw, it hurts, which provides ample entertainment for me.

13)   The students actually want to learn – they will make it near impossible some days, but if it’s well within their range of ability, they give it a shot because they want to learn.

14)   When you least expect it, your students will surprise you.  They will stand up for one another, sympathize and empathize, have mature discussions like an adult about difficult topics, and ease up when they realize they’ve pushed things too far.  It’s moments like these that make your classroom getting TP’d worth it.

15)   Procedures and documentation. Do it. Do it well.

16)   Students will notice EVERYTHING about you.  In my case I have students for 90 minutes every day, so when you realize that they stare at you most of the time, they start to notice things.  They will comment on the state of your nail polish (I’ve had a boy ask where my sparkly nail polish went because he liked it), your makeup or lack of, your shoes, hair, clothing, and about everything else you could ever think of.  God forbid you wear a shirt that is somewhat loose, and they automatically assume that you are pregnant.  And clearly, students don’t have much of a filter on their mouths.

17)   Students like to be told when they’re doing a good job.  Never underestimate this.

18)   If you don’t give up on students who seem like a dead end they may surprise you and pull through.  Perhaps everyone else had given up on them and thought the student was a lost cause, and the power of suggestion is strong.  When you make it clear that you don’t accept this attitude from the student, they actually start doing their work, talking, and trying to succeed.

19)   Having a student draw you a picture feels like winning a Grammy.  I love each of the drawings they have created for me!

20)   No matter how old students are, they love to pass out papers, run to the office, or do whatever it is you need help with.

Well, I’ve reached 20 things, and I could probably write 100 things, but that would take too long, and I must go find myself a summer job now!

Biscuits, Grits, and Gravy - Where the Waitress Calls You Baby

So, I’ve been living in North Carolina for about three months now, and I absolutely love it.  When I think about how some things are just different down here, this is what I came up with:

• I now know the difference between “y’all  and all ya’ll” and use them without even realizing it.
• I now “cut on” and “cut off” the lights, heat, air conditioning etc.  Things no longer get turned off or on.
• I also “collect up” papers, books, homework etc. rather than just “collecting” them.
• Helicopters flying overhead are no longer noticed.
• The boys will wear cowboy boots with anything – including basketball shorts.
• Everyone thinks I’m insane because I’ve never had colored greens…I’m still trying to figure out exactly why people eat these?
• People put the letter “R” into words that clearly don’t need them (i.e. “How ya dur’in?” for “How are you doing?”)
• Pop doesn’t exist – it is soda, and no one knows what in God’s name you are talking about if you say pop.
• College basketball reigns supreme
• What is unsweetened tea?
• Anyone that does anything stupid is automatically assumed to be a “damn Northerner.”
• Biscuits are every day all day…
• It’s always “yes/no , ma’am/sir”
• No matter where you go, there’s a good chance you’ll get called “baby” or “shug”….sometimes five times in less than a minute.
• The boys and anyone younger will always hold the door for you – hello chivalry – gotta say I love it!
• I realized that instead of saying, “what,” my students say, “ma’am?”
• The 1^st and 15^th of the month are hell because it’s military payday – steer clear of Wal Mart (I learned the hard way).
• The girls down here are a thousand times nicer.
• People don’t shake hands, but instead give hugs…I’ve had some awkward introductions because of this…
• I’m told a Southern mamma don’t leave her baby every time I say that I left home all alone and moved down here.
• “Bless your heart,” isn’t always as sweet as it sounds…
• Finding anything other than a Baptist church is like finding a needle in a Haystack….and Lord knows, everybody goes to church every Sunday.
• Southern accents are contagious.
• I think they only believe in white bread down here….and that’s only if they are out of biscuits!
• Students will skip school for Bojangles, the beach, and hunting.

I’m sure as soon as I post this, I will think of more, but each one of these puts a smile on my face, and I couldn't help but sharing!

My First Days as a "Legit" Teacher - It's Been Awesome!

I survived my first week teaching even though I’ve only had the students for two days.  It’s been wonderful, and things have gone just as good if not better than what I had envisioned.  I’ve been working my butt off, showing up early, and staying late (I’ve been one of the last people to leave these past two days).  The other teachers are friendly, the principal is so easy to speak to, my mentor/teacher that I’ve taken over for is a godsend, and my students are awesome!  My room is one of the first classrooms as you enter the building and is right across from the office so I get teachers and administration dropping in throughout the day.  I still have sooo much to learn though – I don’t know where everything is (the schools down here are split into different buildings spread out on the campus), the state/county requires different procedures and other things I’m not familiar with, I don’t know where the teacher’s work room is, and it’s truly very different, but I’m learning a little more each day.  The principal assured me not to worry about any of the technical stuff yet, but to just come to school and be ready to teach the kids, so that’s what I’m doing!

In just these past two days teaching, and the two previous days spent as “teacher work days,” I’m learning just how grateful I am for everything leading me up to this point.  Millikin truly did supply me with the knowledge and skills that I would need for this.  I look back and remember complaining about some of the assignments we did and how “pointless” they were, but now I see how valuable they actually were!  My student teaching and subbing has also been so beneficial with the hands-on experience and advice from veteran teachers that so kindly shared everything they knew with me.  I’ve always been thankful for these things, but now I feel this more than ever.  It was funny today when the principal asked me if the kids were any different down here than what I was used to back home, and I just had to laugh and say, “Sir, kids are kids!”  I did however go on to tell him how I get a huge kick out of all of the kids down here decked out from head to toe in camouflage – lunch boxes included. 

These kids are so awesome.  I’ve loved all of the kids that I’ve ever had the joy of sharing a classroom with, but something is just different about the kids here.  We are basically comprised of “home grown” kids who have family going back as far as they know living in this town, and we also have a lot of kids from military families.  The “home grown” kids are the ones I get the biggest kick out of.  Their accents are so thick, that I’ve had to ask some students to repeat what they are saying four different times (in which some occasions they just give up).  They live to go muddin’ in their trucks, hunt, fish, and just have a “good ol time!”  After reading some of the things that they have written, many of the kids lack confidence in their skills and knowledge, but it’s already apparent that they actually DO have a desire to learn.  Several of them have spoken to me telling me how they want to do well in this class, but they are worried.  I’ve reassured them that I’m going to help them the entire way.  They already know my expectations are high, but I know that they can do it.  I promised them that they will understand grammar, will be able to write a good research paper, and will learn to understand what they are reading.  I think that’s what I already love so much about these kids – you can see that they really do want to learn and don’t want to disappoint me.  And things like that – well, they make me work that much harder because I don’t want to let them down.  I told them how EVERY  DAY they are going to be reading for 20 minutes at the end of each class (here students have the same 4 – 90 minute classes every day for a semester), but that it’s not to be any school-assigned reading.  At first they said, “Well hey, some of us have library fines,” and I told them that I would bring in books that they could read.  I was happily surprised when they were actually excited about me doing this – it was not the reaction that I expected.  When I went over some of my classroom procedures and told them what they are to do if they don’t have their homework (which is basically my way of documenting their excuse as to why they don’t have it in case I receive that question from “momma” or “daddy”) I was met with the comment, “Hey, that’s actually pretty cool!”  It’s the little things like these that assure me that these kids do want to be here, and that they do want to learn.

I’ve gotten a huge smile about a lot of things already: my one student who legitimately goes by his nickname Bubba (even the office adheres to this); the student who still doesn’t understand double negatives no matter how I try and break it down (“I don’t have no plans”);  the student whose accent has been dubbed by his classmates as another language; the student I caught red-handed trying to sneak a dip in his mouth in the middle of class; how every conversation always winds up with hunting being the main topic; being called ma’am all day; the kids who say, “I can’t really read. I’m super slow at it, but I’ll volunteer anyways;” the way they all participate willingly; when they say, “Ma’am don’t be mad at me, but I lost that paper…”.  It’s only day two, but I totally love my students.  By the end of the day, I’m pretty sure I’ve picked up some temporary southern twang in my attempts to “communicate” with them. 

            It’s been a crazy, wild week, but I’ve received so much help, and I can’t say enough about my mentor/teacher that I took over for.  I honestly don’t know what I would do without her!  She has guided me every step of the way, while still somehow managing to let me do my own thing.  I know that has got to be extremely hard to do, but she’s got it down perfectly.  She gives me great advice, answers my questions honestly, offered me everything in the classroom that was hers – and I mean everything, supports my decisions, and is always sure to tell me when I’ve done an excellent job; she even paid for me so I can wear jeans on Friday since I, “don’t have a paycheck yet.”  I think she is probably the person I’ve gotten to know the best down here, aside from my roommate.  Needless to say, this lady is getting one heck of a Christmas present come next year.

            I am so happy with everything right now.  I have a great roommate, great students, great administration, and great co-workers.  Although everything has been very stressful, I am almost too happy to notice most days.  This is right.  This is where I belong.  This is what I needed.  I couldn’t ask for anything better than what I have right now!

My First Week in North Carolina

Wow, so I’ve been down here for a week now – I think!  It’s been super crazy, interesting, and completely new.  I took my parents back to the airport in Raleigh on Friday, and that was kind of hard.  When I decided to move, I never thought I would cry at all, but with each person I said goodbye to leading up to the move, I couldn’t help but cry.  My parents and I didn’t get emotional until right when I dropped them off, and then the waterworks started.  It was kind of surreal since I never left home for college or anything, and at the most always lived ten minutes from their house.  It was hard letting go, because they were the last thing from “home” – that familiarity that made me feel safe and protected.  Everyone has been asking how things have been going, so I’ll try to fill everyone in on some of my experiences thus far, but can’t promise everything will be in perfect order as it’s all been a whirlwind!

So to start out, I moved into a tiny two bedroom, one bathroom house with another girl who teaches at the school.  She’s just a couple months younger than me and seems very nice.  She’s engaged, and she is planning to be married by November, so with this come two things: 1) I’ll be moving before the year is over.  2) She’s usually spending time with him, leaving me all alone.   This is fine, but it’s taking some time to adjust to being “truly alone” as it feels.  I’ve made more phone calls to friends these past several days just to have someone talk to.

I went to the school with my parents on Thursday and met some people there.  Everyone has been super friendly and helpful – sharing with me any tidbits of information about anything and everything they can think of.  The principal assured my parents that they would take care of me, and he promised them that they would turn me into a southern girl.  Going along with this, I’m finally getting used to saying, “Yes ma’am,” “No ma’am,” “Yes sir,” and, “No sir.”  I caught myself on the phone with my mom tonight and I answered her with a good old, “yes ma’am,” so it must be working!

Saturday was a day of serious frustration.  I started the day out by deciding that I needed to do laundry, so I ran down to the dollar store and bought fabric softener sheets, and what I originally thought was detergent.  I got out to my car and realized I bought fabric softener and had to run back in.  Since we don’t yet have a washing machine, I see the one laundry mat in this town and go in.  Flashback to the past, this place was a dead end.  I figured what the heck, it doesn’t take too long to wash clothes, and so I sat there and got it done.  I brought my clothes home to dry, and then realized the dryer wasn’t hooked up or something.  I didn’t spend too much time with it as I was annoyed.  I hauled all my clothes back out to my car, and drove the fifteen minutes into town to find a laundry mat.  I go in, look around, and I notice none of the washers or dryers have a place to put quarters, so after staring around confused for about a minute, I go ask an employee for help.  Apparently, they use “debit keys now,” and I still don’t fully understand, but nonetheless, I got my clothes dried.  I drive back to my town because I also wanted to wash my car.  I see people at the carwash, just going to town cleaning their vehicles.  The one I pull into though, come to find out, has next to no water pressure, and the actual “soap” option doesn’t work.  After spending about seven dollars on that bogus excursion, I angrily drove fifteen minutes again to go wash my car in the other town.  Hallelujah – success!

Saturday night was interesting because my roommate and her fiancé were out for most of the day, and I really felt as though I needed to get out of the house.  I decided that I would grow up and go find somewhere to eat, by myself.  As I psyched myself up for this, as it was easy enough for me to do back “home,” but I find much more difficult here, and got ready.  I decided I would go to Buffalo Wild Wings as that was somewhere I used to eat by myself a lot back in the day.  I drove by, passing it without realizing it, GPS’ed where I was going, and after about a dozen of U-turns later, I found it.  Holy crap was that place crowded.  You literally had to walk about half a mile to get into that place.  I thought that maybe I should look elsewhere so I drove down to this other place I saw during the daytime that I was curious about (after several more U-turns of course), and it was just as crowded, if not more.  I have never seen restaurants so packed in my entire life.  Keep in mind, marines and girls are milling about everywhere, and there doesn’t look like there would be a place to stand, let alone sit down and eat.  After driving around for probably another thirty minutes, confused, lost, terrified, starving, I thought, “Eff this! I wanted B-dubs, and that’s where I’m freaking going!”  I would later come to realize that the football games were also playing, which was partially to blame for the crowds.  I finally find a place to park and walk into Buffalo Wild Wings, head held high, purse slung over my shoulder, and bee-lined toward the bar since that’s where “single people” tend to eat - I also find it far less awkward.  I ate my dinner and drank my beer like a champ, and then I left and went home.  I won the battle that night as far as I was concerned.

Sunday I spent being pretty lazy for the most part, and nothing really exciting happened from the couch I parked myself on once I got the internet working.  So this brings me to today.  I realized I needed to get things together today and go run some errands.  I have a bank just a quarter of the mile down the street from me, and I needed to go open a checking account.  In my past experience, this takes ten minutes tops, but ohh lawd no!  I spent an hour there today, and it was like a social hour.  I met just about everyone at the bank, a local man who said he’d pray for me when he found out what I was teaching, and got all kinds of advice from the lady opening the checking account for me.  It was kind of nice getting to talk to people from my little town, and feel like I was “getting to know” people.   After this I decided to go change my mailing address, so I drove to the post office, and while I was in line, I saw a paper that talked about doing it online, and this seemed like an easier option so I grabbed it and walked out the door.  After going online to do this, I find out you have to be charged one dollar via debit/credit card to “prove identity.”  Obviously since I JUST opened a new checking account, I don’t have one, so frustrated, I gave up on that until tomorrow.  I then made my way to the DMV to find out about how to get a NC driver’s license.  The lady basically tells me everything and then tells me to get in line to take the test.  I thought, “How hard can this be?  I’ve been driving for 8 years.”  I opened up the rules of the road book and skimmed through it with my best reading skills I’ve come to learn.  I giggle at the passage that says, “Don’t be a jackrabbit.”  This seemed so crazy, backwoods, call it what you want, but just remember this when I go to make a point here in a minute.  So I go in, take care of everything, get registered to vote, they change my address, I take my vision test, and then they put me on a computer to take the actual driving test.  I FAILED!!  Yes that’s right, I failed.  Missing six or more was failing, and I of course missed six.  This is what I get for not studying the “points” you get for providing alcohol to minors, and other various offenses – things that are definitely different in Illinois.  I kind of thought it was funny that I failed after laughing smugly about the whole “jackrabbit rule.”  Whatever.  After this I headed to the mall to pick up a few things that I needed, one being an item from the Clinique counter.  I began talking to the sales associate there, and I told her how I used to work for Clinique.  Come to find out, she too was from Illinois, and worked for the same department store that I worked for, only several hours north.  In talking to her, I may have also lined myself up with a part-time job back at the Clinique counter, so I was pretty excited about this.  And this, my friends, takes me to where I’m at now.  Writing this.  I’m sure I will have a lot more to say later, but I figured writing this all out one time was a lot easier than telling my stories over and over again.  I’m sure before too long, I’ll also be able to look back and laugh at the things that I’ve gone through since I’ve gotten down here!

My Hopes For 2013

This past year has been crazy from the very beginning, and I’ve spent much time reflecting and looking back over it.  Through the many ups and downs I experienced, I am ending this year a much stronger person than I started it out as.  With this being said, I’m ready to close this chapter of my life, soak up the good memories from it, learn from the bad ones, and continue to grow and move forward as I enter into this next year.  I have a lot of faith and hope in this next year as it will be full of drastic changes.  In less than a week, I will be packing up all of my things, driving to North Carolina, moving in with a girl I don’t know, and begin teaching classes of my own.  I anticipate and look forward to the many changes that this will bring, and these are some of my new hopes for this coming year:

      I hope to be successful, finally not having my parents to help me out in any way.

I look forward to making new friendships and keeping in contact with the amazing ones I already have.

I want to become even healthier – eating less preservatives, getting back to working out regularly, beginning to run again, and living an overall healthier lifestyle.

I hope to maybe fall in love, and if not, learn from more failed dating experiences :)

I will become a more independent woman, as I won’t have anyone to help me figure out what’s wrong with my car or any of those other tasks I go running to my dad, brother, or other guys for.

I plan on learning how to better manage my money.

I want to strike a balance between the Kara that used to go out and party a lot and the Kara that stays at home by herself more often than not – finding a happy medium.

I hope to read more books and continue doing all of the learning that I can.

I aspire to be the best teacher that I can be.

I want to learn how to let go of hate quicker, love more, and judge less.

This may not sound like much, but I’m sure that striving to make these things happen will consume most of my year.  I pray for happiness and success, not only for me, but also for my friends and family.  I know I will look back on 201 2 fondly some years in the future, but I look forward to all of the changes that will be happening in 2013 as well!